The Top Ten Axe Cop Characters


Written by Malachai Nicolle and drawn by his brother Ethan (in what seems like a suspicious piece of nepotism), Axe Cop is a webcomic made print, which has been going since 2009. The premise is this: Axe Cop is a cop, who has an axe. And he goes around chopping the heads off bad guys. It’s awesome.

But what if you’ve never heard of Axe Cop and don’t know about his friends, villains, and family? Well then, just be thankful that you’ve stumbled across this article, you guys. Because we’re going to list the top ten Axe Cop characters OF ALL TIME. This is a definitive list. There will be surprises! And shocks! And there will be a lot of people who get killed.

Before we jump into the list, it might first be worth noting that Malachai, the writer of Axe Cop, was only five years old when he created the series. Bear that in mind as you gawp at the awesomeness of his creations.

10: Book Cop

Book Cop is Axe Cop’s ancestor. He fought during the American Revolution, by throwing a book in the air which would then smash enemies in the face. But what most people don’t realise is that Book Cop was also the man who ended the war, by summoning fireballs from space to kill all the redcoats. He then surfed across the ocean to England, so he could kill the evil King in person. But it wasn’t all fighting for Book Cop. He eventually settled down with a wife whose name he never found out. All his fights are accompanied by olde style sound effects, such as “bludgeon!” and “parch!”

9: The Best Fairy Ever

She can poison people and is the only girl allowed on Axe Cop’s team.

8: The Moon Warriors

They live on the moon and are ninja warriors with psychic powers and vampire teeth and crab claws.

7: Wexter

Axe Cop’s pet dinosaur, who has machine guns for arms and can fly through space and wears cop glasses and can breathe fire. He is only scared of one thing, and that is a lamp.

6: The King of All Time

The King of All Time has a trident which can stab a jillion bad guys at once, and he also has an invisible sword. The invisible sword can also stab a jillion bad guys at once.

5: Axe Cop’s Mother

Axe Cop’s Mother seems to be simultaneously the best mother ever and the worst. She raised Axe Cop to be vigilant and full of justice, but she also only fed him candy canes. When he became a bit older, she expanded his diet by allowing him to eat babies. Axe Cop apparently loves to eat babies, and goes to a fast food chain which specialises exclusively in deep-fried baby sandwiches.

4: Ralph Winkles

Axe Cop’s pet dog, who fires lasers from his mouth and was given the power to talk and know karate. He is very heroic. He KNOWS important missions for Axe Cop to take.

3: Mr Stocker

Mr Stocker has no powers. But he is very well dressed.

2: Axe Cop

The man himself! When he isn’t being constantly on the job – and he is CONSTANTLY on the job – he is busy saving other planets from zombies and poo monsters and all kinds of other villains. He has an axe. He will use it to chop your head off. He has a unicorn horn. He will use it to wish you back to life. Then he will chop your head off again.

1: Leaf Man

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